Synesthesia. You should look it up.
It’s when the senses are cross wired. It occurs differently in different people. For some, they “hear” smells, or “taste” sounds. I believe I have some degree of it.
When I paint or write, or compose music, when I just go about my day I see things, subtle patterns overlaid onto the fabric of things. Colors, symbols. Its very difficult for me to describe.
Or, when I write I sometimes use the “wrong” sense to describe something. To a point where I have to go back and change it so the reader will understand me. Sometimes I leave it like I wrote it.
I sometimes think that all artists have some degree of it. It allows them to see things differently from others. I believe that is what drives them to create in the first place.
For me it is both beautiful and lonely, and I think that’s what has always driven my work. My music. My painting. My writing. Because when I share it with you, once I take it out of my head and I show it to you, then I no longer have to see the world, in the unique way that I do, alone.
And I thank you.